We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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