You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Yo dont text me then not text me
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
