Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
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