after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
home. puking in laundry basket.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
