Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
