Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
The struggles of a small town man whore
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
