You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
