There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
