Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i think i have herpe
just one?
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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