Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
