I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I pour the whiskey from now on
Randomize
