Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
There's even glitter on my cock...
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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