i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
is wine microwaveable?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
