Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
