he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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