Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
