vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
