Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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