Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize