You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Randomize
