I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Randomize
