apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
