I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
