Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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