I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
