i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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