the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
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