he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
