It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
