my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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