her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
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