Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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