Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
