grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
