I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
