I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
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