I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
You're a waste of cheezeits
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
