its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
