you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
