I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
