they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
