Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
