good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Randomize
