You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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