You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize
