i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Randomize
