just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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