i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
