Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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