yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
